A Friendly Reminder...

Today was a bit different. We've been updating our dog licensing and I was calling around to different households to remind them that their dog's license is out of date.

At first I thought that the worst part of this task would be leaving answering machine messages for people. I know everyone thinks that they sound like a moron when they leave messages, but I somehow seem to feel especially stupid.

However...

There are a few main reasons why people haven't renewed their dog's license:

1) They've moved
2) The dog has died
3) They just genuinely forgot

The last option isn't so bad and neither is the first, with the exception of that awkward "...um... no, sorry, I think you have the wrong number" moment.

Yet please note possibility #2.

Therefore, most of what I say seems to go something like this:

"Hello! It's the Humane Society calling. We've been updating our dog licensing and we're calling to check on how Scruffy's doing!
...Oh... just passed away... I'm so sorry to hear that...
...Yes ma'am... I'm sure he was a lovely dog...
...I'm... really sorry to have brought all this up again...
...Did you happen to get another dog by any chance?
...Irreplaceable, yes I ..I understand...
...Ma'am, yes, I'm really sorry for your loss..."

I should just change my message to straight out say

"Hello! It's the Humane Society calling. This is just a friendly reminder about how your dog just died. ..Oh you just got over that? ...Yep, we're rehashing that wound for you all over again! Alright, well you have a good day! Take care!"

Calling old ladies is the worst.

I am a horrible person.